World Pancreatic Cancer Day & First Scan

Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Day!

Today is the first annual World Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Day! It was great to see family and friends posting photos on my facebook of them wearing purple and supporting the cause.. Thank You! We have met some pretty amazing people that are involved with his disease and determined to help raise money, awareness and find a cure. We love our new friends and all of the support they have given us! Shout out to Amy & Brian Nelson, Amiee Sherman and Pamela Acosta Marquardt who is the founder of the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network! I got to speak to Pamela myself which was pretty amazing! 

Wearing my purple for a purpose at work!

On Tuesday Mike had his first CT scan to see if the chemotherapy has been working. Mike's dad went into Boston with us. We had to get there 90 minutes before his scan so he could drink certain fluids with medicine in it. This would help line his stomach & intestines for when they did the scans. He also had contrast put into his port to help the scan images. Mike and I have been terrified of this scan... We had to wait until he completed 4 treatments which was 8 long weeks. This scan has left my heart racing and both of us very anxious for days now. We will find out on Monday what the pathologist reports says. We decided to go to this appointment on alone. We have been openly sharing Mike's Fight with family and friends but we want to go to big appointments like this on our own. We need time to fully absorb the information we receive in private before we can share with our family, friends and so on. We feel like we are having flashbacks to when we waited the first two weeks for his diagnosis... I've been trying to prepare myself for this appointment. If the scan comes back that the chemo is not working we have other options... but other options scare me because those options could run out one day. If the scan comes back that the chemo is working then we will be able to breath easy for a while. Mike's oncologist says he thinks the chemo is working... but the scan will have to prove that for us. 

Mike's Fight

Mike has been having a lot of pain since his last treatment. We are worried things are not as good as the doctor is thinking. He had been doing better with treatment 2 and 3. Since his last chemo treatment (number 4) he has defiantly felt worse. He often complains about his head feeling "off" (I know that feeling all to well). He looks off and he's been more fatigued than usual too. He has battled a few fevers as well. For those of you who don't know cancer patients are suppose to go to the hospital if they get a fever of 100.4. They are at greater risks of infection due to their low white blood cells. Every time his temp even goes up a little I panic on the inside. His immune system is so fragile that getting sick could really compromise his health. His oncologist said anyone around him should have their flu shot and if anyone is sick to not come around. Ava had a cold on Monday so Mike wore a mask and kept his distance. It's hard for her not to snuggle with daddy when she's sick but she understands she does not want him to go to the hospital. His pain is my biggest concern. This awful disease leaves me thinking we never know when or if things could turn for the worse. I haven't been sleeping well. Some nights I am up until 1 or 2 in the morning. Mike has been going to bed around 8 or 9. Those nights that I am up alone are the worst. It's a scary reminder of what the future could be like... alone. I hate to say it but it scares me. I just can't imagine being without him... we refuse to let it be a possibility in our minds. We have to stay positive and hope for the best. He tells me every once in a while that he will be the first person to beat it. God I hope he's right.

My Perfect View ; )

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