The post has over 21k likes, 700 comments and almost 1000 shares! I have been reading everyone's kind words. I have even had a few people message me to share their stories and offer support and advice. It truly is amazing. I also mentioned before that Life Chronicles is coming to film us. They will be coming in December. They also said they have friends at a local news station that wants to film them filming us to raise awareness about their non profit. It's crazy how many opportunity's that keep presenting itself to us. I continue to reach out to people when I can and I won't give up. It's the least I can do to raise awareness to this disease and Mike's Fight.
On Friday I went to an infectious disease specialist. It was one of my worst experiences ever with a doctor. She was so rude. She told me there was nothing wrong with me. She said I didn't have Lyme disease or any infectious diseases based off of her looking at me and her own opinions. During the appointment Mike started to faint because he wasn't feeling well so he laid down. Later on he said it works him up when he hears doctors talk to me that way. She had almost no sympathy and proceeded to tell me that my CONSTANT blurry vision and strange symptoms were "in my head". She said it was stress. She didn't call for any tests at all and sent me on my way. I was in tears by the time I walked out. Mike did his best to cheer me up but I felt like I had my back up against the wall. Feels like I have no where else to turn for help with my symptoms (8 months later... no answers to my health). I am still seeing a naturopath...
After we left the doctors we went to the DMV to change my name on my license... got there at 12:30pm annnnndddddd they had closed at 12:00pm... typical it was just enough to set me off again. As I stood there crying outside the truck I was searching for the keys that were "lost" in my massive purse. Mike looked at me and said don't cry were going to get your license done and you can't cry for your picture. It was sweet of him. He always has the nicest things to say and is always looking out for me. One of the many reasons why I love him so much! We then drove to the Epping DMV because they were open later. I got my license and I am officially Stephanie Howell! Don't worry mom and dad i'll still always be a Lanza ; )
Silly things like the the doctor being rude, the DMV not being open, struggling to get Mike's prescriptions refilled, our Comcast cable going in and out, our toilet braking and our pipes backing up are the very frustrating things that seem to happen every day to every one! However with our current battle it feels a lot more stressful. It's always something. It often feels like the the straw the broke the camels back. Emotionally its so exhausting. Even with all these dumb little things and our health we still drag ourselves out of bed and try to make the best of each day. We have each other, we have our family and we have our friends.
Mike & I had a very busy weekend! On Saturday night we got to attend the Bruins game against the Canadians and on Sunday we got to go to the Patriots game with my family. When Mike was first in the hospital at St. Elizabeth's he had a roommate in his hospital room. We got to know him well over the painful 3 days. He gave the Bruins tickets to us as a wedding gift (thanks again!) It was very kind of him. Mike and I were anxious about our busy weekend. Since Mike had treatment on Monday we were not sure how he would be feeling by the weekend. I myself still am not feeling well so I had my own worries too. However we had a great weekend! Mike & I both had our "sick moments" but over all we had a great time at both games. I was really happy to attend the Pats game with my brother, sister in law and dad. It was so great to have family time like that. Mike really enjoys spending time with them too. He says my family feels like his own. It's so nice to hear that.
My brothers seats were better than ours. They were in the end zone so at half time he switched seats with us. We both enjoyed sitting in the second row! After attending so many games in Mike's season ticket seats it was really neat to be right in the front. It was a whole new game experience. The players were so close you could yell to them. Thanks again Charlie!
By Sunday night we were both exhausted and our emotions had caught up with us. We held each other and cried for a while. We asked our typical questions like why us? What did we do do deserve this? How much time do we have? At times all the hope and positively we try to live with each day seems to be pushed to the side. We're only human... it happens. Mike told me something after this conversation that really stuck with me. He said, "I didn't find the love of my life to marry her then leave her alone." It still puts me in tears to think about it. It's just so hard to hear and even harder to think about. Mike is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. He always puts his "girls" first and takes care of us on every level. It's so hard to see him ill. He has crippling stomach pain every day. Some days are worse than others. Sometimes he bleeds when using the bathroom in which the doctor is aware of. The bleeding really scares me. He also takes a concoction of pills that make him nauseous to take all at once. He's a fighter though!
His daughter Ava has been doing so well with everything going on. She's beautiful, strong, and so brave. She loves her Daddy so much. Sometimes when Ava and I are alone we talk about Dad. Today I was explaining to her about how the Life Chronicles non profit would be coming to our home to film us with dad and our families. I wanted her to understand why they were coming and what they would be doing. I told her it was for us to have memories on camera with dad. Her first response was, "In case dad dies?" ..... I'm sure for anyone who reads this had the same expression on their face as I did. I paused, collected my self and said yes in case that did happen but it didn't mean it would. Again I remind you... she's only 7. She's the most beautiful child I have ever met inside and out. I love her so much and I am so happy she is in my life. My family needs a miracle. No one should have to die from this horrid disease...Ava needs her daddy and I need my husband and family.
As I realize the time right now 12:20am I'm pushing myself to go to sleep. I still struggle to sleep at night. Mike goes to bed early and I sit downstairs in our quiet home and try to keep my mind busy. Sometimes I read information about his disease, other times I clean or talk with some of the other friends/caregivers I have met that are going through similar situations, I watch all my shows on my DVR and then eventually force myself to go up to bed. Night time is the hardest time for me. I don't like being alone, I don't want to go sleep, and I don't wake up and face reality again...
Donate to Mike's Fight
Click Here
Each Bravelet that is purchased through this site donates $10 to Mike's Fight.
To purchase a Bravelet Click Here
On Friday I went to an infectious disease specialist. It was one of my worst experiences ever with a doctor. She was so rude. She told me there was nothing wrong with me. She said I didn't have Lyme disease or any infectious diseases based off of her looking at me and her own opinions. During the appointment Mike started to faint because he wasn't feeling well so he laid down. Later on he said it works him up when he hears doctors talk to me that way. She had almost no sympathy and proceeded to tell me that my CONSTANT blurry vision and strange symptoms were "in my head". She said it was stress. She didn't call for any tests at all and sent me on my way. I was in tears by the time I walked out. Mike did his best to cheer me up but I felt like I had my back up against the wall. Feels like I have no where else to turn for help with my symptoms (8 months later... no answers to my health). I am still seeing a naturopath...
After we left the doctors we went to the DMV to change my name on my license... got there at 12:30pm annnnndddddd they had closed at 12:00pm... typical it was just enough to set me off again. As I stood there crying outside the truck I was searching for the keys that were "lost" in my massive purse. Mike looked at me and said don't cry were going to get your license done and you can't cry for your picture. It was sweet of him. He always has the nicest things to say and is always looking out for me. One of the many reasons why I love him so much! We then drove to the Epping DMV because they were open later. I got my license and I am officially Stephanie Howell! Don't worry mom and dad i'll still always be a Lanza ; )
Silly things like the the doctor being rude, the DMV not being open, struggling to get Mike's prescriptions refilled, our Comcast cable going in and out, our toilet braking and our pipes backing up are the very frustrating things that seem to happen every day to every one! However with our current battle it feels a lot more stressful. It's always something. It often feels like the the straw the broke the camels back. Emotionally its so exhausting. Even with all these dumb little things and our health we still drag ourselves out of bed and try to make the best of each day. We have each other, we have our family and we have our friends.
 |
| Mike & I at the Bruins Game |
My brothers seats were better than ours. They were in the end zone so at half time he switched seats with us. We both enjoyed sitting in the second row! After attending so many games in Mike's season ticket seats it was really neat to be right in the front. It was a whole new game experience. The players were so close you could yell to them. Thanks again Charlie!
 |
| Mike & I at the Patriots Game |
 |
| Tailgating with the Family! |
By Sunday night we were both exhausted and our emotions had caught up with us. We held each other and cried for a while. We asked our typical questions like why us? What did we do do deserve this? How much time do we have? At times all the hope and positively we try to live with each day seems to be pushed to the side. We're only human... it happens. Mike told me something after this conversation that really stuck with me. He said, "I didn't find the love of my life to marry her then leave her alone." It still puts me in tears to think about it. It's just so hard to hear and even harder to think about. Mike is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. He always puts his "girls" first and takes care of us on every level. It's so hard to see him ill. He has crippling stomach pain every day. Some days are worse than others. Sometimes he bleeds when using the bathroom in which the doctor is aware of. The bleeding really scares me. He also takes a concoction of pills that make him nauseous to take all at once. He's a fighter though!
His daughter Ava has been doing so well with everything going on. She's beautiful, strong, and so brave. She loves her Daddy so much. Sometimes when Ava and I are alone we talk about Dad. Today I was explaining to her about how the Life Chronicles non profit would be coming to our home to film us with dad and our families. I wanted her to understand why they were coming and what they would be doing. I told her it was for us to have memories on camera with dad. Her first response was, "In case dad dies?" ..... I'm sure for anyone who reads this had the same expression on their face as I did. I paused, collected my self and said yes in case that did happen but it didn't mean it would. Again I remind you... she's only 7. She's the most beautiful child I have ever met inside and out. I love her so much and I am so happy she is in my life. My family needs a miracle. No one should have to die from this horrid disease...Ava needs her daddy and I need my husband and family.  |
| Ava & I |
 |
| My Buddy |
.jpg) |
| My family a few years ago |
Donate to Mike's Fight
Click Here
Each Bravelet that is purchased through this site donates $10 to Mike's Fight.
To purchase a Bravelet Click Here
No comments:
Post a Comment