Wedding & Awareness Video

Check out Mike & I's wedding photos and Pancreatic Cancer awareness video! Thank you to our amazing wedding photographer Rebecca Garone with Garone Photography for making this video. She did an amazing and beautiful job!

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Purple Light Vigil

On Sunday October 26^th Mike and I went to a Purple Light Vigil. It was held at Veteran’s Park in Manchester, NH. Thanks to our wedding photographer Rebecca Garone she shared the event with us! The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network’s Purple Light organized the event. We all came together to celebrate survivors and honor loved ones lost to pancreatic cancer. During the event, they read the names of both survivors who have battled the disease and of loved ones we have lost too soon. Survivors, family and friends illuminate purple glow sticks when the name of their loved one is read.

When I was asked if we wanted them to read Mike’s name I said I thought he had to be a survivor? He is currently battling the disease. They reassured me that Mike IS a SURVIVOR. He is living with the disease and that makes him a survivor. I was pretty touched by this. It made me view his disease in a whole new light.

It was pretty powerful to see all of the people there that have been affected by the disease. We can’t wait to go back next year and bring our friends and family with us. 

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Explaining cancer to our daughter...

Our family at the corn maze!

It didn’t take long for Mike’s daughter Ava to realize something was up. There were more people coming to the house than before. Dad was in visible pain and our time with her had been cut short a few times she was with us. After meeting with a Dana Farber social worker and seeking out a therapist for her we were told to explain everything to her the best we could. Mike and I brought her to her room and sat on the bed with her. Mike tried to talk but could not form the words. He put his head in his hands and lost it. She looked at him with utter confusion and then snapped her head at me. She asked what is it? Is dad okay? I reached for her hand and she crawled into my lap. I squeezed her tight and started to cry. Mike and I both couldn’t hold it in. It was way too emotional for us to be able to not break down. I now know that was okay. Mike got up and walked around her bedroom while he composed his self. He gave me a signal and asked for me to explain. I started with saying you know how dad has been real sick lately? She nodded her head yes. I then spent the next 20 minutes explaining it all the best I could in an appropriate way. We all sat on her bed and hugged for a while until she got up and walked over to her desk. Mike and I stared at her with puffy red eyes… She started to clean her room. She didn’t have any questions she didn’t want to hear anything else she just wanted to clean. Mike gave her a kiss and let her be alone with me. I had her come back and sit with me. I asked her if she had any question or wanted me to explain it again. She said yes to explain it again. After I was finished she looked at me and said she was sad. She said she didn’t want him to have cancer… and I agreed. After that day we started her with a therapist. She went three times. The therapist said she was adjusting just fine and to give her time. So that is what we have done. When she has questions she comes to us and asks. With time she has become more curious and talks about it more. She often repeats she wishes he didn’t have cancer. I’ve over heard her singing songs to about him. It breaks my heart to look at her and think about the future. She is so brave and beautiful. She is doing great in school and loves playing on her soccer team. We still do things as a family. We recently when to a corn maze. We had a lot of fun getting lost and telling silly stories. We picked pumpkins and went to dinner afterwards. It was a great day and an awesome memory…

Ava & her daddy

Ava during her soccer game

Ava & I getting pampered before the wedding

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Mike's Fight Benefit

One week after Mike & I’s wedding we held the 1^st Annual Softball Tournament & After Party Benefit. With the help of amazing friends and family we managed to pull together an awesome and very memorable ALL day event. 26 teams signed up for the softball tournament. Usually only 12-15 teams are in a tournament. The amount of people that came out to support was amazing. The tournament started at 8:00am and went until 9:00pm. The after party started at 6:00pm at Sawyers Function Hall in Plaistow, NH. We had a DJ who donated his time. We had over 75 silent auction and raffle items that people generously donated. We had food donated as well. The support was so uplifting. It brings tears to our eyes to see how kind people have been to us.

Mike was having a rough day and only made it to the softball fields for a little while. He went home and rested then came to the after party for a short time as well.

I could not have done it all without the help of these amazing people

Jennifer Simmons

Lindsey Royce

Melanie Adamo

Sue Comeau

Chuck Cashman

Joe Sokolowski

Jessica Gray

Thea Tsagaris

Cindy Lanza

Mark Lanza

Ken & Gail Howell

Judy Howell

Doug Howell

Tim Robinson
Amanda Corthall
Matt Daniels
Kc Godin

And MANY more! THANK YOU

Mike Howell, myself and our families would like to thank the numerous businesses, family and friends in the community for the outpouring of support to make our recent benefit a huge success. Some donated their time, food, silent auction items, raffle items or helped with supplies. Some came to the event and spent their hard-earned money to help "us" newlywed couple through this cancer fight. Some couldn't attend, and instead offered cash, or other items to help raise money. Regardless of who you are or what your contribution was, you ALL helped make this a success. This money will be used to offset the medical costs of Mike's battle with cancer.

We are forever grateful for all of you, and the help and support you have given to us. It has been a very humbling experience for all of us. We will be "paying it forward" from this day on. Thank you!

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Best Day of Our Lives

Amidst the worst time of my life I was able to ironically have the best day of my life. October 4^th 2014 was our official wedding day. We had an amazing weekend with family and friends. My brother, his wife, and kids came in from Washington state. We got married up in York, Maine at the Union Bluff Meeting House. We had fun at our rehearsal ceremony and we had a great time at dinner the night before. Our wedding day was a rainy day. We expected this months ago when we booked the venue. We don’t usually have good luck so we were convinced it would rain… and it did. Everyone kept telling us rain is a symbol of good luck but I think some upset bride back in the day was convinced by some schmuck rains good luck to make her happy and the tale lived on…. Haha either way the rain didn’t ruin our day. We still had our ceremony outside. Our guests loved it. It was right on the ocean and the surf was crashing behind us. As I walked down the aisle with my father the rain started to slow down. It felt symbolical. Mike and I standing up there felt like a huge FUCK YOU to cancer. Nothing was going to stop us. I wish the night never ended. Everything was beautiful. I had no complaints. Mike did very well too and lasted the whole day. I was impressed. We celebrated with guests, I danced my butt off with Ava, and I had an amazing time with my handsome husband. It is a day I will never forget but will wish I could relive it every day! After the hell we had been through we needed that wedding…

Special thank you to my parents Mark & Cindy Lanza. Without them we could not have made this wedding happen on our own! Thank you mom and dad I love you! 

Rehearsal

Rehearsal Dinner

Ceremony

First Dance

Mr. & Mrs. Howell

Father Daughter Dance

Thank you everyone for helping make this day amazing for Mike Howell & I!

Officiant: Doug Azarian
Singer: Manda Lynn
Ceremony & Reception Venue: Union Bluff Meeting House
Coordinator: Darlene Yankura
Photographers: Rebecca Garone & Michael Garone, Garone Photography LLC
Videographer: Josh, Creative Edge Arts
DJ: Kevin Sawler, Main Event Entertainment
Florist: Brenda Elwell-Taylor, Brenda's Bloomers Inc.
Cake: Charlene Dow
Invitations: Cortney Sarkozy & Erin LaSorsa, Invited Design Studio
Photobooth: Mike & Stephanie Howell, Unique Photo Booths
Hair: Melanie Gorman, Amici Hair Studio
Make-up: Douglas J. Howell
Dresses: 125 Bridal Boutique Plaistow, NH
Suits: Men's Warehouse Salem, NH
Rings: Andrew Dumont, PRINCESS JEWELERS
Spa: Spa nijoli & salon, Methuen, MA
Rehearsal Dinner: Union Bluff Hotel

My facebook post from our wedding day!

Stephanie Howell

October 4 at 12:18pm ·

Today is OUR day! 

Regardless of the rainy weather or the struggles we have been facing. Today is our day to shine and celebrate our love for each other with our amazing family's and friends!
Rather than being scared of what the future will hold or what could have been without you, I am sitting here completely content with how my life has played out.

I love you Mike Howell! 
10.4.14

— at Union Bluff Hotel.

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Life After Diagnosis

Since Mike’s diagnosis our whole world was turned upside down. His body has taken a toll on him. He’s lost a lot of weight and struggles to find things to do that he still enjoys. I myself still have been dealing with debilitating medical issues for the past 6 months but still have not had any results. It’s crazy to think I have gone from me being the one he has been taking care of to me now caring for him. We help take care of each other and get through the days together. Our financial income has slowed down. I have resigned from my job. Mike went from working 5-6 days a week to 1-2 days every other week in between treatments. When he does work, we work together. Mike and I were so proud of our photo booth business venture we started together. We loved going to events and making guests smile and have a good time. In fact we were a great team and we were damn good at it. Since his diagnosis Mike has lost his passion for the photo booth business and now I am hanging on to our past dream to keep it going. I’ve given up so much that I needed something familiar to hold onto.

We don’t know why he got this cancer…. It doesn’t run in his family, he doesn’t drink or smoke, and he’s very young for this type of cancer. We’ve sacrificed a lot this past month. We are newlyweds. We just started our lives together but yet it feels like the end. We had to give up going on our beautiful honeymoon. Our visions of sitting on the tropical island of Antigua were replaced with hospital visits, chemo treatments and recovering. I am only 25... We had dreams together of buying a home after our wedding and having a baby. Now a house and a baby are not options for us and it hurts...Mike says he wants to be in a home when he passes… as if knowing what the future of his disease is isn’t hard enough I can’t even grant him his only wish besides life which is a… home. Talk about feeling helpless...

Mike receiving his weekly fluids

Now we are left picking up the pieces of our shattered life trying to make sense of it all. It’s an awful disease that we both wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy. We feel robbed…robbed of his life, robbed of our wedding, and robbed of our future. We hold each other a lot, we cry and I try to get him to smile at any chance I get. His smiles and laughs are few and far between these days. We spend our days sleeping in because it hurts physically and mentally to get out of bed. We lay around the house watch TV. I have the normal battles of fighting with him to drink fluids, eat and take his meds. He carries around a bag of drugs like a mini pharmacy. He has over 15 prescriptions that I keep track of for him. He goes to the local hospital to get weekly fluids these help him feel better. We do our best living each day in the moment praying for a miracle. We have amazing friends, family, a great team of doctors and a support system that is out of this world. We’ve both given up a lot. It wasn’t easy for me to give up my job but I know it’s harder for Mike. He’s always been a very energetic, get out there and do things kind of guy. Now he’s forced to be on the side lines, while his body breaks down. For anyone who knows Mike they know he’s a very stubborn guy and that he is also a fighter. He won’t give up even when his body is tired, weak and he feels like he wants to quit. When he does feel like quitting I am there to push him right back up and remind him that he is in the fight for his life. I often remind him “You don’t have to win every battle to win the war”. 

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Diagnosis

Mike & Stephanie After Wedding

On September 8^th Mike and I gathered with our immediate family and two best friends at my parents’ house. A family friend came over and married us. We were both scared and didn’t know what to expect. All we knew was we loved each other and wanted to be married for personal and medical reasons.

September 12, 2014 marks the worst day of my life. We were at a open house for Ava'as school when I got the phone call. We quickly said our goodbyes and went out to the car... We couldn’t pretend nothing was wrong anymore. All of our worst fears became real. Mike was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He is only 37… I will never forget it. We were in the parking lot in his truck both hysterical. We couldn't even understand what the doctor was saying through our sobs. This news came 22 days before the wedding we had been planning for the past 14 months. The type of cancer he has does not have a cure but has quite the reputation as the silent killer. Usually by the time someone has been diagnosed, it has already spread and is inoperable. It took us two weeks to find out… two FUCKING weeks. We expected the worse but hoped for the best. Once we got home we called all of our family. Mike and I sat at the top of our stairs inside our home and cried. We cried until our families slowly started to get there. Our once happy, full of energy, and pre-wedding decoration filled home felt so dark. That was the longest day of my life…

Mike, Ava & Stephanie

On September 17^th Mike went back to the hospital to have a port put in his chest. He would start chemotherapy immediately. Radiation was not an option because his pancreas is intertwined with other vital organs that radiation could harm. Surgery was not an option because it had spread. If you were to remove part of his pancreas it wouldn’t stop the cancer. Once it spreads you don’t know where the tumor cells are in the body. The lesions on his stomach are what confirmed the cancer not the biopsy of the mass. In simpler terms, the mass from his pancreas had cancer cells that were spreading into his stomach. Wherever they landed they caused the lesions and more cancer in his stomach.

When his oncologist came to talk to us after his port procedure we were not overly thrilled with her explanation. She took us to a small conference room. She was very cold. Her accent was hard to understand and she wasn’t explaining in terms we could comprehend. She talked about what his diagnosis was and what his prognosis was. She told us 11-12 months… Later on we found out that doctors don’t do that. They don’t give you death sentences unless you have weeks to a month to live. Mike started to faint… I laid him on the floor while SHE looked at me in panic as to what to do. I was mad at her. I didn’t like her at all. I just wanted her to go away. I laid there on the floor with my husband and lost it. After a while we left to head home. I cried the whole ride home. I was tired of driving back and forth to Brighton in rush hour traffic. It was exhausting. It took us over an hour each ride but yet I knew it was only the beginning.

Mike during his first chemo treatment

We decided to switch hospitals. Even though it delayed his chemo by a few days it was the best decision we EVER made. Right now he is having chemotherapy treatments every two weeks at Dana Farber in Boston. His new doctor is amazing. He makes the process easier for us. He understands us, he listen to us and he helps him feel better. So far he has had 3 treatments. He was having a hard time adjusting to the treatments in the beginning but seems to be doing much better now. We do not know if the medicine is slowing down his cancer yet. He will be having CT and PET scans in a few weeks to find out how things are doing. I am terrified of those results but I know I have to be strong for his 7 year old daughter Ava, Mike and myself. Ava has been doing well. She seems to understand it all to the best of her ability. In the past few weeks she has seen both Mike and I at our worst and has bravely come to our rescue each time. She’s only 7…



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Back to the Hospital...

Thursday morning came and his original procedure that he was sent to that specific hospital for changed. They said besides the mass on his pancreas there were lesions on his stomach as well. We both had no idea what that meant. They decided that they wanted to do a different procedure where they would take a needle and go through the side of his abdomen and take biopsies of the lesions in his stomach. So they wheeled him off and I waited for his return. When he came back they said everything went well and that they should have some results by next week.

That day was a blur we had different teams of doctors come in his room to talk to us. We started off talking to a surgeon. She explained what would happen if surgery was an option. An option what did that mean? Then we were told an oncologist would come to meet with us. An oncologist? Oncology means cancer… why were we meeting with a cancer team? The sleep deprivation, hunger and overall exhausted started to sink in. Does Mike have cancer? The oncologist went over 3 different possibilities of what the mass and lesions could all be. None of the options were good… After they left I saw the first bit of emotion I have ever seen on Mike’s face. We both started to cry… how could he have cancer? He’s too young. We could barely comprehend what was going on. There was no privacy we couldn’t even cry or process this information in peace. Mike had a great roommate. We got to know him and his wife pretty well. We all spent a lot of time together those three days. We started a bond with complete strangers. However Mike and his roommate were so vulnerable we had no choice but to overhear each other’s medical status. Each time a doctor came in to talk to us or the roommate it was like a silent competition of who had it “worse”. We are pretty sure Mike won that one…

My parents came to visit just in time. I was tired and scared. I needed to see other people that were familiar to me besides seeing Mike in the hospital bed and all the hospital staff on his floor. After a lot of pleading with doctors they allowed Mike to go home with some pain killers and a promise that he would rest. So we did. We went home and we rested. It felt like a black cloud was following us. We felt lost and didn’t know what to do. Friday morning we laid in bed for hours until we got up. Mike was having bad pain. I was scared I didn't know what to do. Out of sheer panic I kept calling my mom and his mom looking for help. By Saturday his pain was worsening. I was up with him all night while he moaned and clutched the bed in pain. I called his mom to come over so that when Ava woke up she could distract her. We hadn’t really told her anything besides daddy wasn’t feeling well. He was running low on pain meds and I couldn’t get in touch with any of the doctors to get refills. Narcotics require physical scrips the doctors can't just send them over. We needed to see them in person or wait until they were mailed. This made getting his meds very difficult for us. I was hesitant and thought that he shouldn’t have left the hospital but like I mentioned before he is stubborn. He progressively went downhill within hours. I had his mom take Ava to his fathers who eventually brought her to her moms. I had previously called his primary care doctor knowing it was the weekend but hoping she would be on call so I could get him more pain meds. She eventually called back. She was concerned with the amount of pain he was in. She said she normally does not do house calls but insisted on coming over. At 2:00pm she came over and evaluated him. Within 15 minutes of being there she said we needed to call 911 and bring him back to the hospital. So we did… she called 911 and I called all of our parents. The fire rescue team came first. Bells and all… even the fire truck was there. They were trying to stabilize him until the EMTs got there. It took them an hour… from the time the 911 call was made to the time he was put in the ambulance and being rushed back to St. Elizabeth’s. It felt like a life time. I kept yelling where is the damn ambulance he needs to get the hell out of here. There were 15 people in my bedroom crawling around him trying to get vitals… they were sticking him with needles. He was in so much pain that he kept blacking out… it was horrifying. When he did come to he kept apologizing that our brand new comforter from my bridal shower was getting dirty. I didn't care. All I cared about was him. Eventually the EMT’s got there, they stuck him with an IV and started giving him pain killers. To get him out of the bedroom was another hassle. Our stairs turn at the bottom so they couldn’t get a backboard down them. He was put in a wheel chair and 4 men carried him out. He was so drugged up and slouched over... I will never forget it. I was hysterically while my mother, father and Mike's primary care doctor help me up. In the meantime I had already packed bags for the two of us. I had learned the second time to bring changes of clothes, toiletries, and phone chargers. I didn’t know how long this stay would be. From the ambulance window I saw my mom hugging Mike's doctor... I knew it wasn't good... I knew deep inside Mike was really sick and they both knew it.

The ride in the ambulance was a first. They wanted to bring him to the local hospital but his primary care insisted he went back to St. Elizabeth’s… after a battle she won. We were on our way rushing through traffic… lights and sirens roaring. Once we got to the hospital they emitted him and we waiting for his pain meds. They could not come soon enough he was in excruciating pain. He desperately needed relief… they have protocols I understand it was just horrible to watch the amount of pain he was in. All of our parents and his brother came to the hospital that night. I’m pretty sure Mike had the most visitors of all the patients in the ER. They had to rotate 3 visitors at a time in the room. We all ate pizza in the waiting room while Mike again was deprived of food due to the next procedure. It was nice having all of our family there with us. I needed it. Even though it was under horrible circumstances to come together we laughed and joked at one another. I had managed to drop pizza in my hair on my shirt and on my pants... typical of me. I still have not heard the end of that one!

The doctor did some more x-rays and made sure there were no blockages. Eventually they decided that he needed to stay over night. I stayed with him. This time we were on the 7th floor. We liked the 7th floor. The nurses were nicer it was quieter and I even got my own cot next to him! Late that night my friend Melanie came to be with us. We talked with her until we couldn’t stay awake anymore. She left and we went to bed.

It was now Sunday morning, his oncologist came in and pretty much said… I told you so. She said he never should have left until we had his results from the biopsy that had been taken on Thursday. We were so tired of the hospital we knew we shouldn’t have left but we needed a break. My brother Charlie and his wife Meaghan came to visit. After more begging they allowed him to leave again. Charlie and Meg brought us home. We filled all of his prescriptions and went back home to rest.

Monday we found out that the procedure they did with needle through his side did not get enough fluid to test it… so he had it again. Mike went back on Wednesday September 10^th to have the original biopsy they wanted him to have. They went down his throat through his stomach with a needle and biopsied the mass on his pancreas. We went home and waited for more results. Friday September 12^th 2014 we got the horrible news we had been expecting…

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My Health & Mike's Health

I will start things off with my health symptoms I have been dealing with and then I will go into detail about Mike’s current health journey.

On March 30^th 2014 I started experiencing various types of strange symptoms. My vision at times would get blurry and I was getting strange head sensations that I can’t find the words to describe. In general my head feels “off”. I get hot flashes and my face becomes flushed for hours. I have dizzy spells, tingling in my hands and feet followed with numbness. I’ve had a racing heart, shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping, confusion and a general sensation of feeling “off”. Now I have 24/7 blurry, “funky” vision.  To find out what was going on I started by seeing an allergist which then turned into seeing a neurologist, an ophthalmologist, optometrist, neuro-ophthalmologist, rheumatologist, neuro-endocrinologist, and numerous appointments with my primary care. I’ve had CT-Scans, a MRI, MRV, spinal tap, 10-day event heart monitor, blood glucose monitoring, countless lab draws and the list goes on. Six months later, I have no results as to what has been going on with my body. My symptoms have been so debilitating at times I’ve been unable to get out of bed and go to work. I took numerous days off from work and left early on many days. My life was completely altered. I stopped doing everything to the point it was hard to even run simple errands like going to the grocery store. I've spend hours crying from my horrible symptoms and have had no answers. Through it all I constantly turned to Mike and my mom. Like many others they have been there for me, even in the wee hours of the night. Even though they would feel helpless while my body felt like it was attacking itself they were there for me. Now that’s enough about me…

Looking back Mike didn't seem to have a lot of symptoms… Starting around July 2014 Mike started having stomach discomfort. He had some constipation and stomach pain. We didn’t think much of it. We both figured it was just from eating a bad diet and that it would pass. He would go weeks with constipation and then goes days with diarrhea for about two months. Me being the nagging fiancé I was at the time I told him go see the doctor or continue to suffer. Him being stubborn he reaffirmed to me over and over that he was fine. On September 2^nd Mike went to play softball on his men’s softball league. He wasn’t feeling well all day but insisted on playing (did I mention how stubborn he is…). It was one of those 90 degree days and super muggy. He was struggling through the whole game. His friends kept telling me how awful he looked. He was in a lot of pain and sweating profusely. He was up at bat and swung to hit the ball. What happened next is where it all began... He screamed in pain and started to fall. His friends looked at me and said he’s not well he needs to go to the emergency room. In fact I knew he was going no matter what he said. We got him in the truck and I rushed him over to Holy Family in Haverhill.

Mike has neuro-cardiogenic syncope which is a fancy term for “fainting disorder” it’s pretty common in fact. As I brought him into the emergency room he looked worse and worse. He was keeled over in pain. As many of you know when you go to the hospital you have to register, wait for intake, get vitals and wait to get called into the ER. Well… Mike didn’t last 5 minutes before he started to faint and I yelled for a nurse. Well they didn’t move quickly enough and he started stumbling around. I grabbed him and pushed him onto an open bed just in time for him to pass out. They instantly brought him in and hooked him up to an IV. It was now 7:00pm. His stomach pain was getting increasingly worse. I called his mother to come be with us. The nurses started intravenously giving him pain meds and he was in la-la land. He was quite comical. We joked and said he “pretended to faint” so he would get in sooner. We waited to see the doctor. After an hour and a half the doctor came and asked the typical 20 questions the nurses all just asked. She sent him for a CT scan and we awaited the results. Around 10:00pm the doctor came back. She said that there was a “mass” on his pancreas. Mike and I BOTH didn’t think anything of it. We figured they would just remove it and he would go on with his normal daily routine. She said that Holy Family was not equipped to perform the surgery and recommended that he be transferred to St. Elizabeth’s over night to have the procedure done. The doctor said there was a renowned pancreas specialist at St. Elizabeth’s and that he would be in great hands. So we looked at each other, weighed out our options and off he went via ambulance. Mike’s mom rushed me home and I frantically ran around my place searching for clothes, toothbrushes, and random objects to pack. I couldn’t get out of my own way. I didn’t know what to think but to just pack faster. It felt like I was upstairs packing for hours as the minutes ticked by. I picked up Mike’s dad, Ken and off to his brother’s house in the middle of the night we went. Mike’s brother lives close to St. Elizabeth’s so we met him there and then he drove us to the hospital. 

Mike was admitted to the 6^th floor. Ken, Doug and I roamed the hospital trying to find his room. The hospital had a real creepy and eerie feeling at night. The only way in was through the emergency room and then through the hospital to the patient rooms. The hospital was a maze built on a hill so it took us a while. When we made it to his room it was about 12:30am now. He had a roommate that we tried not to wake up. We realized nothing would be happening that night so his brother and dad left and I stayed with Mike. I didn’t sleep that night… Mike was sleeping on and off. He was having pain, receiving meds throughout the night and having his vitals taken. There was nowhere for me to sleep. I paced the hospital halls, checked out the vending machines, and I stared out his window at the Boston sky line for hours. It is so loud in the hospital at night. Machines are constantly beeping, doors are slamming, nurses are laughing, and the list goes on. Eventually around 4:30am he insisted I lay down with him on his twin-sized hospital bed. Cramped up I may have closed my eyes for 45 minutes before the sun came up and the hospital was hopping with the staff change over.

St. Elizabeths Hospital

We waited all morning for someone to come in and tell us what was going on. A doctor and his team finally came in around 10:00am to let us know what they were planning to do. I found it so interesting how they worked in “teams”. I had never been in the hospital for anything so I didn’t know what to expect. They said he would have some more scans and wait for him to have an endoscopy to biopsy the mass on his pancreas. So we waited and waited. Mike wasn't allowed to eat anything because of the procedure he would be having. He was getting pretty hungry and understandingly irritable. He started to get a migraine. We asked for tylonel and it took over an hour to come. Everything took a long time. To get meds you have to call the nurse, who then asks the doctors, the pharmacy has to approve it then you have to wait for the nurse to bring the meds.  It was now 2:00pm and our patience was running thin. We still had no idea when the procedure would happen. His mom Judy and brother came back to visit. I was able to go to Doug's house to shower and pull myself back together. Then back to the hospital we went. Finally the doctor came back in and told us that the pancreatic specialist was not in and he would not be able to have the procedure happen until Thursday. We were pissed. Why did we get rushed here in the middle of the night if the damn doctor wasn't even in. I swear they knew it but just weren't telling us. Mike almost lost it. Being self-employed he insisted that he could not stay another night. He was pissed and the doctor knew it. There was nothing we could do but wait. We learned very quickly that we would be waiting… a lot... 

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