Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Back to the Hospital...

Thursday morning came and his original procedure that he was sent to that specific hospital for changed. They said besides the mass on his pancreas there were lesions on his stomach as well. We both had no idea what that meant. They decided that they wanted to do a different procedure where they would take a needle and go through the side of his abdomen and take biopsies of the lesions in his stomach. So they wheeled him off and I waited for his return. When he came back they said everything went well and that they should have some results by next week.

That day was a blur we had different teams of doctors come in his room to talk to us. We started off talking to a surgeon. She explained what would happen if surgery was an option. An option what did that mean? Then we were told an oncologist would come to meet with us. An oncologist? Oncology means cancer… why were we meeting with a cancer team? The sleep deprivation, hunger and overall exhausted started to sink in. Does Mike have cancer? The oncologist went over 3 different possibilities of what the mass and lesions could all be. None of the options were good… After they left I saw the first bit of emotion I have ever seen on Mike’s face. We both started to cry… how could he have cancer? He’s too young. We could barely comprehend what was going on. There was no privacy we couldn’t even cry or process this information in peace. Mike had a great roommate. We got to know him and his wife pretty well. We all spent a lot of time together those three days. We started a bond with complete strangers. However Mike and his roommate were so vulnerable we had no choice but to overhear each other’s medical status. Each time a doctor came in to talk to us or the roommate it was like a silent competition of who had it “worse”. We are pretty sure Mike won that one…

My parents came to visit just in time. I was tired and scared. I needed to see other people that were familiar to me besides seeing Mike in the hospital bed and all the hospital staff on his floor. After a lot of pleading with doctors they allowed Mike to go home with some pain killers and a promise that he would rest. So we did. We went home and we rested. It felt like a black cloud was following us. We felt lost and didn’t know what to do. Friday morning we laid in bed for hours until we got up. Mike was having bad pain. I was scared I didn't know what to do. Out of sheer panic I kept calling my mom and his mom looking for help. By Saturday his pain was worsening. I was up with him all night while he moaned and clutched the bed in pain. I called his mom to come over so that when Ava woke up she could distract her. We hadn’t really told her anything besides daddy wasn’t feeling well. He was running low on pain meds and I couldn’t get in touch with any of the doctors to get refills. Narcotics require physical scrips the doctors can't just send them over. We needed to see them in person or wait until they were mailed. This made getting his meds very difficult for us. I was hesitant and thought that he shouldn’t have left the hospital but like I mentioned before he is stubborn. He progressively went downhill within hours. I had his mom take Ava to his fathers who eventually brought her to her moms. I had previously called his primary care doctor knowing it was the weekend but hoping she would be on call so I could get him more pain meds. She eventually called back. She was concerned with the amount of pain he was in. She said she normally does not do house calls but insisted on coming over. At 2:00pm she came over and evaluated him. Within 15 minutes of being there she said we needed to call 911 and bring him back to the hospital. So we did… she called 911 and I called all of our parents. The fire rescue team came first. Bells and all… even the fire truck was there. They were trying to stabilize him until the EMTs got there. It took them an hour… from the time the 911 call was made to the time he was put in the ambulance and being rushed back to St. Elizabeth’s. It felt like a life time. I kept yelling where is the damn ambulance he needs to get the hell out of here. There were 15 people in my bedroom crawling around him trying to get vitals… they were sticking him with needles. He was in so much pain that he kept blacking out… it was horrifying. When he did come to he kept apologizing that our brand new comforter from my bridal shower was getting dirty. I didn't care. All I cared about was him. Eventually the EMT’s got there, they stuck him with an IV and started giving him pain killers. To get him out of the bedroom was another hassle. Our stairs turn at the bottom so they couldn’t get a backboard down them. He was put in a wheel chair and 4 men carried him out. He was so drugged up and slouched over... I will never forget it. I was hysterically while my mother, father and Mike's primary care doctor help me up. In the meantime I had already packed bags for the two of us. I had learned the second time to bring changes of clothes, toiletries, and phone chargers. I didn’t know how long this stay would be. From the ambulance window I saw my mom hugging Mike's doctor... I knew it wasn't good... I knew deep inside Mike was really sick and they both knew it.

The ride in the ambulance was a first. They wanted to bring him to the local hospital but his primary care insisted he went back to St. Elizabeth’s… after a battle she won. We were on our way rushing through traffic… lights and sirens roaring. Once we got to the hospital they emitted him and we waiting for his pain meds. They could not come soon enough he was in excruciating pain. He desperately needed relief… they have protocols I understand it was just horrible to watch the amount of pain he was in. All of our parents and his brother came to the hospital that night. I’m pretty sure Mike had the most visitors of all the patients in the ER. They had to rotate 3 visitors at a time in the room. We all ate pizza in the waiting room while Mike again was deprived of food due to the next procedure. It was nice having all of our family there with us. I needed it. Even though it was under horrible circumstances to come together we laughed and joked at one another. I had managed to drop pizza in my hair on my shirt and on my pants... typical of me. I still have not heard the end of that one!

The doctor did some more x-rays and made sure there were no blockages. Eventually they decided that he needed to stay over night. I stayed with him. This time we were on the 7th floor. We liked the 7th floor. The nurses were nicer it was quieter and I even got my own cot next to him! Late that night my friend Melanie came to be with us. We talked with her until we couldn’t stay awake anymore. She left and we went to bed.

It was now Sunday morning, his oncologist came in and pretty much said… I told you so. She said he never should have left until we had his results from the biopsy that had been taken on Thursday. We were so tired of the hospital we knew we shouldn’t have left but we needed a break. My brother Charlie and his wife Meaghan came to visit. After more begging they allowed him to leave again. Charlie and Meg brought us home. We filled all of his prescriptions and went back home to rest.


Monday we found out that the procedure they did with needle through his side did not get enough fluid to test it… so he had it again. Mike went back on Wednesday September 10th to have the original biopsy they wanted him to have. They went down his throat through his stomach with a needle and biopsied the mass on his pancreas. We went home and waited for more results. Friday September 12th 2014 we got the horrible news we had been expecting…

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