Diagnosis

Mike & Stephanie After Wedding

On September 8^th Mike and I gathered with our immediate family and two best friends at my parents’ house. A family friend came over and married us. We were both scared and didn’t know what to expect. All we knew was we loved each other and wanted to be married for personal and medical reasons.

September 12, 2014 marks the worst day of my life. We were at a open house for Ava'as school when I got the phone call. We quickly said our goodbyes and went out to the car... We couldn’t pretend nothing was wrong anymore. All of our worst fears became real. Mike was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He is only 37… I will never forget it. We were in the parking lot in his truck both hysterical. We couldn't even understand what the doctor was saying through our sobs. This news came 22 days before the wedding we had been planning for the past 14 months. The type of cancer he has does not have a cure but has quite the reputation as the silent killer. Usually by the time someone has been diagnosed, it has already spread and is inoperable. It took us two weeks to find out… two FUCKING weeks. We expected the worse but hoped for the best. Once we got home we called all of our family. Mike and I sat at the top of our stairs inside our home and cried. We cried until our families slowly started to get there. Our once happy, full of energy, and pre-wedding decoration filled home felt so dark. That was the longest day of my life…

Mike, Ava & Stephanie

On September 17^th Mike went back to the hospital to have a port put in his chest. He would start chemotherapy immediately. Radiation was not an option because his pancreas is intertwined with other vital organs that radiation could harm. Surgery was not an option because it had spread. If you were to remove part of his pancreas it wouldn’t stop the cancer. Once it spreads you don’t know where the tumor cells are in the body. The lesions on his stomach are what confirmed the cancer not the biopsy of the mass. In simpler terms, the mass from his pancreas had cancer cells that were spreading into his stomach. Wherever they landed they caused the lesions and more cancer in his stomach.

When his oncologist came to talk to us after his port procedure we were not overly thrilled with her explanation. She took us to a small conference room. She was very cold. Her accent was hard to understand and she wasn’t explaining in terms we could comprehend. She talked about what his diagnosis was and what his prognosis was. She told us 11-12 months… Later on we found out that doctors don’t do that. They don’t give you death sentences unless you have weeks to a month to live. Mike started to faint… I laid him on the floor while SHE looked at me in panic as to what to do. I was mad at her. I didn’t like her at all. I just wanted her to go away. I laid there on the floor with my husband and lost it. After a while we left to head home. I cried the whole ride home. I was tired of driving back and forth to Brighton in rush hour traffic. It was exhausting. It took us over an hour each ride but yet I knew it was only the beginning.

Mike during his first chemo treatment

We decided to switch hospitals. Even though it delayed his chemo by a few days it was the best decision we EVER made. Right now he is having chemotherapy treatments every two weeks at Dana Farber in Boston. His new doctor is amazing. He makes the process easier for us. He understands us, he listen to us and he helps him feel better. So far he has had 3 treatments. He was having a hard time adjusting to the treatments in the beginning but seems to be doing much better now. We do not know if the medicine is slowing down his cancer yet. He will be having CT and PET scans in a few weeks to find out how things are doing. I am terrified of those results but I know I have to be strong for his 7 year old daughter Ava, Mike and myself. Ava has been doing well. She seems to understand it all to the best of her ability. In the past few weeks she has seen both Mike and I at our worst and has bravely come to our rescue each time. She’s only 7…



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