Fundraisers and items for sale!

Here are a few upcoming events I wanted to share about spread the news about!

1. On Saturday, October 3rd we will be hosting the “2^nd Annual Michael Howell Softball Tournament”. The tournament will be held at Haverhill Stadium in Haverhill, Massachusetts. The softball tournament will include 16 teams this year. Last year’s event was very successful, there was a tournament during the day and an after party at night. This year we will only be hosting the softball tournament during the day

If you would like to put in a team please have a team captain email us at mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com with your team name. Entry fee is $250 per a team.

Please see the flyer for more information. 

I am also looking for donations such as water, soda, snacks, candy and donation items for raffle baskets. If you would like to donate something please email me at mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com 

2. On September 12th Mike and I along with my parents with be participating in The Marino Donnelly Foundation Corn Hole tournament. The event is hosted by the Marino Donnelly Foundation (a local pancreatic cancer foundation). The co-founders have both been affected by the disease. Joe is currently bating the diseas and Jackie lost her father two years after he was diagnosed. 

For the tournament the price of admission includes one T-Shirt per player, free drinks (including beer) and food.  The winning team receives a set of custom made Cornhole Boards.

Come give Mike and I some corn hole competition!

See below for more details! 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marino-donnelly-foundation-cornhole-tournament-tickets-17322702670

3. On September 26th Mike and my family will be participating in the 2015 New England Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk hosted by the Lustgarten Foundstion. We are still accepting donations to sponsor us. To donate to our team click below!

http://2015newenglandwalk.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1131269&lis=1&kntae1131269=202644763C0C489890740FCFD4C5AB0B&supId=423241843 

4. We are selling our photobooth and trailer... you can find the information on it here at this Craig's list listing http://boston.craigslist.org/nwb/for/5185045032.html

5. Mike's Fight T-shirts for Sale... 

KIDS sizes are also available!

Kids Small- Large $15

Adult Small-XL $15

Adult 2XL- 3XL $17

 I will be putting an order in on September 1st. All the money goes towards Mike and I to support our fight with pancreatic cancer. 

Email me with the size you are interested in. Mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com

Thank you 💜

Lately we have been very involved with pancreatic cancer fundraisers, selling tshirts and looking for donations. All the money goes towards our family battle with cancer. Needless to say we are very thankful for EVERYTHING that EVERYONE has done for us. It has been a very difficult journey and we have been trying to keep our heads above water.

Donate to Mike's Fight... all donations go directly to Mike & I.
Click Here

Each Bravelet that is purchased through this site donates $10 to Mike's Fight.
To purchase a Bravelet Click Here

Update

Mike has seemed to pull through his rough patch! He has completed his first round of gemabraxine which consisted of 3 weeks on and 1 week off of treatment. His bowel obstruction has passed and has been overall feeling very well. We are gearing up for his 2nd round on this new treatment this Thursday. People often ask how many treatments does he have left? It's a tough question to answer... Along with the usual question of "how are you feeling?" To answer the first question... his treatments do not have an end date. He will continue treatment until there is a cure... He is what many would call a "lifer". It hard to answer when we get asked. It's not anyone's fault because people don't always understand the specifics of his disease. To anyone who has been affected by Pancreatic cancer it's a big deal to us that people don't know about the disease. It's a disease that remains in the shadows behind all the others. There's not enough research, knowledge, early detection, or treatments for the disease...

I'm going to take this as an opportunity to education others... 

• An estimated 48,960 Americans will be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the U.S., and over 40,560 will die from the disease. 


• Pancreatic cancer is one of the few cancers for which survival has not improved substantially over nearly 40 years. 


• Pancreatic cancer is the 4th leading cause of cancer-related death in the United States.


• Pancreatic cancer has the highest mortality rate of all major cancers. 94% of pancreatic cancer patients will die within five years of diagnosis – only 7% will survive more than five years. 74% of patients die within the first year of diagnosis.


• The average life expectancy after diagnosis with metastatic disease is just three to six months.


• Treatment options for pancreatic cancer are limited. Surgical removal of the tumor is possible in less than 20% of patients diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Chemotherapy or chemotherapy together with radiation is typically offered to patients whose tumors cannot be removed surgically. 


• Pancreatic cancer is a leading cause of cancer death largely because there are no detection tools to diagnose the disease in its early stages when surgical removal of the tumor is still possible.


• The National Cancer Institute (NCI) spent an estimated $105.3 million on pancreatic cancer research in 2012. This represented a mere 1.8% of the NCI’s approximate $5.8 billion cancer research budget for that year.

The statistics are hard to swallow and difficult for us to comprehend. We try not to think about it and hope we will be one of the very few to break that statistic. It's hard to do when everything seems so white and black. One of the hardest things about cancer is having to live everyday despite knowing the outcome. We've met friends along the way that share this dreadful disease. We've also lost friends to the disease... It's devastating and leaves us with heavy hearts. I've been watching my good friend suffer the loss of her husband and It's heart wrenching. However we are each other's greatest support system. No one else gets it like we can get each other. One of the things we often talk about is we were one of the lucky ones to find such a great love. We were blessed with a relationship of communication, loyalty and honesty. So why our husbands? We will never know... no one can answer that for us. 

On a more positive note lately we have taken advantage of Mike feeling well. Mike and I went away to a resort on the ocean in CT this past weekend. We had a great time.

Today we took Ava to Water Country.

 

Ava has been having a hard time lately. She's getting older and realizing the severity of Mike's cancer. We have been making lots of fun memories with her which makes her feel a little better.

Mike and I have just started planning the 2nd Annual Michael Howell Softball Tournment on Saturday, September 5th. https://www.facebook.com/mhsoftballtournament 

Anyone who would like to put in a softball team please contact us at mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com 

We are also looking for donations of supplies like soda, water, snacks, candy, and business sponsors. Please email me if you would like to make a donation. We greatly appreciate it.

Donate to Mike's Fight... all donations go directly to Mike & I.
Click Here

Each Bravelet that is purchased through this site donates $10 to Mike's Fight.
To purchase a Bravelet Click Here

Hoping for better days

Thursday, Mike and I went into Dana Farber for treatment # 25. Where did the time go? 25 chemotherapy treatments... to think back it is insane. September 2nd was a year to date that we went into the hospital for the first time. Since then we have had 5 hospital visits, 2 that were overnight for 3-5 days at a time. He's had countless days of not feeling well. Emotional break downs, chronic stomach pain, struggles to make events with family and friends. Over 25 different types of prescriptions, a 8 year old daughter that hasn't been dealing with things well... a wife that has been pushed beyond her limits that has been stronger than she ever has been. It's been so hard. People can't even imagine how hard it is. I am on the battle front every day with Mike. When he goes down I hold him up. I try everything I can to help make him feel better.

No one understands it... unless you have been there. My friend Pam who lost her husband Matt to this messed up disease back in July, put it perfectly. You don't choose your family, mom, dad, brothers, or sisters... (luckily for me I got lucky with my family) you may choose some friends who come and go through out your life. What makes it hard is that we chose our husbands... I choose Mike through sickness and health, for better or worse. I chose to spend the rest of my life with him... to share his beautiful daughter with and to hopefully start a family of our own someday... This past year has been the hardest thing I have  ever had to face... It's obvious that nothing about this is easy. None of it makes sense, every single bit of it hurts. It hurts so deep in a way that I could never explain...

Back to Thursday morning I feel like I jinxed us because that morning I was rushing around trying to get paperwork filled out and get things in order. I stopped myself in the moment and thought that things seemed "too" normal. When I say normal I use the term lightly because our lives are nothing but normal.  It crossed my mind that maybe things wouldn't go as planned. I reassure myself that it's not like we were getting scan results it was just a normal treatment day. I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head and moved on with our jammed pack scheduled day. 

We got to Dana Farber on time. He got his bloodwork done and his port worked just fine which was good since the last few treatments his port didn't work and had to be flushed, medicated and fixed. 

We met with his oncologist. Mike and him had their typical banter between their football teams Mike (Patriots) his oncologist (Jets). We were all laughing and joking like we weren't sitting in a cancer treatment facility or in a cancer patient room being seen by an oncologist. Things were going well his labs were looking good until his oncologist paused.... my heart sank... his oncologist said his platelets were too low. They were not safe enough for him to have treatment. All the football banter and jokes came to a stand still. I asked why this had happened. His oncologist said that many patients that switch from Folfirinox to Gemabraxine often have this reaction. He said that Folfirinox is a heavy hitter chemo and breaks down the bone marrow where the platelets are produced. He wasn't sure if his platelet numbers were still on their way down or on their way up. Either way he could not have treatment. Mike is at risk for internal bleeding. When the platelet counts are low his blood is not able to clot normally. We have to watch out for any hits, falls, or accidents to make sure he does not have any injuries. Mike's liver enzymes were high as well. They said it could be because of the chemotherapy.

We left Dana Farber not knowing what to think... we were scared.

Mike went to bed Friday night very congested and not feeling well. It sounded like he was coming down with a cold. I called the doctor in the morning and they prescribed him an antibiotic. Hopefully this will help him feel better soon. Tonight he was battling some stomach pain. He went to bed and hopefully he will be feeling better by tomorrow. We plan to spend the day together and we're looking forward to it!

Wednesday night Pam came to visit. We brought her out to dinner at Brown's and then hung out at our house for the night. It is so nice to be able to spend time with her. 

We also has a family cook out this weekend.

Just a reminder Mike, myself and our families are participating in the 2015 New England Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk. I am $85 away from reaching my personal goal of $500. If you would like to donate to my page please click below to donate.

Stephanie's Donation Page


Reminder

We are looking for more teams!

On Saturday, October 3rd we will be hosting the “2^nd Annual Michael Howell Softball Tournament”. The tournament will be held at Haverhill Stadium in Haverhill, Massachusetts. The softball tournament will include 16 teams this year. Last year’s event was very successful, there was a tournament during the day and an after party at night. This year we will only be hosting the softball tournament during the day

If you would like to put in a team please have a team captain email us at mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com with your team name. Entry fee is $250 per a team.

Please see the flyer for more information. 

Mike's Fight T-shirts for Sale... 

Kids Small- Large $15

Adult Small-XL $15

Adult 2XL- 3XL $17

Email me with the size you are interested in. Mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com

Donate to Mike's Fight... all donations go directly to Mike & I. Click Here

Treament Update

Two Monday's ago was Mike's first treatment of Gemabraxine. He has had a really rough time with it. He ran a really high temperature last Wednesday of 104.1... cancer patients are advised to go to the hospital when their temperature reaches over 100.4. Due to the different risks of infections. Mike convinced me he would be fine as always! I called his doctor and he said to give it an hour if his temp did not go down with Tylenol then we would need to bring him in for blood work. Luckily his temp did go down. 

His new treatment causes flu like symptoms, chills, body aches, high temps, nausea, vomiting. Unfortunately, Mike had them all. He is having a hard time swallowing his meds now without gagging from being so nauseous. We have been crushing the ones we can and he's been taking them with applesauce. He vomits 1-3 times a day. He's not eating much if at all. His weight has dropped 20 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks. His nausea is pretty much 24/7. He's had constipation from all the nausea and pain meds. He's not able to sleep much at night. He's developed a rash on his legs that at times is unbearable. Thursday night his legs were in so much pain from his rash and the treatment's "flu like symptoms"... he could not get comfortable. He rolled around on the couch then to the floor before I recommended a bath with Epsom salt. He soaked in the bath for a while and I rubbed his legs to help with the muscle pain...

We've been battling one symptom at a time... which usually ends up offsetting another symptom in another direction. It's hard to keep up with it all. Like I've mentioned before he is very depressed from the whole situation. When he stares off into the distance I can see the pain in his eyes. It breaks my heart. I miss my husband and our old lives so much. Every new day seems harder than the last.

I'm thankful he is here and has put up such a hard fight. Even though I can see he's losing sight of the larger picture I am happy he is here with us. I need him, Ava needs him our families need him. So while his mind and body is tired right now that is okay. He deals with so much... I will continue to help him fight every day.

I once read an article about what is harder... having cancer or having a spouse that has cancer. It's a tough question because as a caregiver I think my job is tough.. quitting my job to care for all my husbands needs, bringing him to appointments, picking up prescriptions, making sure he takes his 10-20 pills a day, keeping track of his fluid and food intake, making sure he goes the bathroom, helping him through his real sick moments, keeping his mind positive, keeping family and friends informed on his health, caring for our daughter Ava and puppy Sadie, keeping up with the house work and yard work that never ends, going to work with my husband and telling him to stop for the day when his body has had enough, the sight of seeing him go through this horrible disease, letting my own needs and health suffer, the list goes on forever I could even explain in more detail but when it comes down to it my job as a care giver is hard... but Mike's job as a cancer patient is defiantly harder. He watches his body disappoint and fail on him every day. He has the physical pain from the tumor and side effects from treatment. He thinks about his daughters and wife's future. Worst of all he fights every day for something that most people around us takes advantage of daily... he fights for his LIFE. Although I may feel like I have it worse... I don't. If I could take it all away I would. I could question why him why us why everything every day but I just can't. I focus on the right now. When I start to stress out I take it hour by hour. When that is too much then I focus on minute by minute to get through the day.

We are at treatment now and hopefully treatment this week goes much better... His doctor gave us different medications to help him prevent the nausea, help him use the bathroom and help him sleep. Fingers crossed!

Even though Mike did not feel very well this weekend we still had a good time with our families. Mike's brother came to visit from NY. We had a cookout, game night, homemade breakfast at the house and I may have or may not have gotten "white girl wasted" as Doug called it from two bottles of wine. : ) Overall I it was a lot of fun and we all needed that family time together.

I finally went to a specialist for my ankle that I sprained two months ago. I have to see a physical therapist twice a week for 6 weeks plus take an antibiotic to help with the swelling. Hopefully it heals on its own so I do not need surgery :(

I am thankful for the woman who reached out to me and donated a spa package to me. Thanks again. I am really bad at taking time for myself. I feel guilty and don't always do it on my own! Mike's brother Doug is coming again this weekend and is also treating me to a spa day. I look forward to it.

We are selling Mike's Fight T-shirts... all the money goes towards Mike and I to support our fight with pancreatic cancer.

Shirts are $15 for sizes S-XL and $17 for sizes 2XL-3XL. I will be submitting orders on Sept 1st. If you are interested email me at mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com with the size you are interested in.

Donate to Mike's Fight... all donations go directly to Mike & I.
Click Here

Each Bravelet that is purchased through this site donates $10 to Mike's Fight.
To purchase a Bravelet Click Here

Today was just hard...

Mike left the hospital on Friday. The doctors wanted him to stay until the bowel obstruction had worked itself out but Mike needed to get out. It was a risk but we needed to get home and get some real rest. We were so exhausted from not getting any sleep in the hospital. Mike continued to drink and eat. He has been very nauseous and his food is not making its way through yet. This could be because of one or two reasons. Either the pain meds are making him constipated or the obstruction has not made it's way through yet.

We've had a really rough past week. Mike's spirits are low and mine are too. Depression has come back around and hit us hard...  Mike has spent a lot of time resting. We have not been able to work and are trying to find a solution to our financial struggle. Today we went to Dana Farber for him to start a new treatment. It has been a pretty torturous day to say the least. I woke up with a terrible migraine. I couldn't keep my eyes open. Mike had to drive in while I laid down in the car with an icepack on my head. We thought we had a good start to the day by getting to Dana Farber on time at 12:00pm however it went down hill from there. We waited for his labs to be drawn for over an hour. When he was eventually called in he found out there was no lab draw orders in the system so he was pushed into another waiting room. His doctor needed to be contacted. Timed ticked by while I was outside waiting for him to come out. I knew it was taking longer than usual and naturally I started to panic. After 20 minutes I went to the desk and asked to see him. I was relived to find out he was waiting and not having difficulties. The lab slips were then put in two more times incorrectly. Finally we were able to move on and get his blood drawn. The nurse went to access his port and there was no blood coming out. His port was clogged and had to be treated. That meant another 45 minutes of waiting for the port to clear on its own. Mike's patience was running thin at this point. Little did we know the long waits and hurdles were yet to be over.

We stopped to grab a snack then went to wait and see his doctor... We talked about Mike's overall struggles and discussed a plan of action to get him feeling better. Mike signed a consent form to start the new treatment. By now I was emotionally unstable and was feeling very overwhelmed. When we left the room we ran into our social worker in the hall way where I just seemed to lose it. I started to cry and she said she would be over as soon as we got into an infusion room. I pulled myself together went to book his future appointments and picked up his prescriptions. I so badly just wanted to crawl into a corner and cry but I had to stay strong. We waited for his transfusion and luckily he was able to get a bed today. His port had cleared up and they were able to use it for his infusion... thank god. Finally when it seemed like everything was going against us something worked. Our social worker came to talk with me and I started to feel better. We then waited over 2 hours for him to even start his chemotherapy drugs. The pharmacy had backed up and things were moving slowly. Mike was about ready to rip out his IV and walk out. I begged him to be patient. As if it was that easy... My heart physically aches to see him suffer. It never gets easier only harder. He is so brave and strong regardless of what he says. None of this is easy. The constant waiting makes things that much harder but it just something else we can't control.

Mike has continued to have pain during treatment. He is now resting off and on. Once he finishes we will be on the road to our slow trek home. I can sense this will be a rough night. I'm just doing my best to hold it together until we are home. We have Ava tonight which is good since it is the first time we have seen her since Mike was rushed to the hospital on Tuesday. We both look forward to her little hugs, kisses and snuggles. For now I will be monitoring Mike for any reactions to the new chemo. Fingers crossed he handles it well... 

Donate to Mike's Fight... all donations go directly to Mike & I.
Click Here

Each Bravelet that is purchased through this site donates $10 to Mike's Fight.
To purchase a Bravelet Click Here

Some days are just hard... In memory of our friend Matt

Yesterday was another day from hell...

We lost our brave friend Matt Keenan to this nasty disease last night. His wife Pam and I have kept in touch throughout our husbands nasty battle with pancreatic cancer. Mike and I looked up to them for strength, insight, advice and friendship. Another young man gone too soon. Pam we're sending you love and strength.  Now his beautiful wife Pamela need our help. Pamela was Matt's primary caregiver. She is currently on FMLA so that she could dedicate all her time to him. My wish is to lessen her burdens and help her financially. Thank you so very much for your support.

Donations for Pam Click Here

My last post left off with our difficult decision to continue with a new treatment or go for a clinical trial at Johns Hopkins. It took us two weeks decide each time we met with the oncologist we would probe him with questions and scenarios. We were not sure what the right move was and we were having a very hard time making a decision and sticking with it. After about 3 weeks of Mike not being on treatment we decided to go for the clinical trial. We believed it was the right thing to do and we were at peace with that decision. Our next step was to see if he was eligible and go through insurance. We had a feeling that his insurance would not accept clinical trials so we were told. However we still pushed through and said we would do what ever it took to make his insurance work.

We decided to go with the trial because it was a new and very "upcoming hopeful" line of treatment. It involved using a specific pancreatic tumor vaccine along with immunotherapy to help his body identify the tumor and attack it through his own immune system. We had heard about the great successes that it had with other cancers such as melanoma and we were excited to be one of the very few to try it out. Our other option was going on a second line of treatment with a chemo drug called Gemabraxine. Besides Mike's first chemo it was the only other line of treatment they are using on pancreatic cancer patients. The way Mike saw it was I can try a chemo that is not a cure but a treatment that prolongs my life by who knows how long or we could take a risk and try a trial that could be a game changer. Mike wanted that game changer. His oncologist agreed that he was strong enough and a good candidate for the trial.

A week went by and we were still not getting approval from his insurance. I kept calling and bugging the intake trial nurse at Johns Hopkins as well as his insurance agent. Finally I got the dreaded but not surprising news that his insurance would not be accepted and John Hopkins could not take him for that reason... I don't understand a patient can't have treatment because of his insurance being a road block? It's messed up. I'm sorry but atleast he HAS insurance... what use is that?

Yet again cancer has us dangling around like puppets.

In the meantime Mike had not been on any type of treatment for 30 days. A part of becoming eligible for clinical trails you have to have a "wash-out" which means no treatment for 28 days before being eligible. Now let me remind you pancreatic cancer is one of the most aggressive forms of cancer. So doesn't it make perfect sense to go off treatment for a month to try a trial that has no obtainable data yet?? ... well I think not.

Tuesday morning Mike started having a new type of pain. It was a lingering pain that lasted longer than most. He was no longer eating and no longer taking in fluids. Ava had come over the previous weekend with a cold and by now it had caught up with me. I stayed home while Mike went to work. He kept texting me how uncomfortable he was. I was becoming more and more worried that there was some type of blockage in his bowels. We had been to the hospital two times before for this same reason and we knew it could become a huge setback and serious if it occurred. I encouraged Mike to listen to his body and come home and rest... and he did.

Ava had swim lessons and soccer Tuesday night. I told Mike to stay home and rest and I would bring her but he persisted he would be able to go.

That is when things started to get worse. He was dry heaving sweating and his pain was pretty intense. I rushed him home and had the typical argument of "I think you need to go to the hospital" and he insisted he needed to rest so I let him rest. Mike's dad took Ava to soccer and I stayed home to be with Mike.

Around 6:30pm he started to dry heave which eventually turned into vomiting. Mike has not vomited almost at all since he was diagnosed. I knew something was up.

Around 8:00pm Ava came downstairs and said I think dad is calling for you.

I went upstairs and found Mike laying on the bathroom floor throwing up. I screamed... my throat dropped to the pit of my stomach and I started to panic. Then my fight or flight mode kicked in. I screamed for Ava to get my phone I met her downstairs so she wouldn't see her daddy so sick laying on the ground. I gave her the choice of who to call to come be with her and she chose Mike's mom. She said she felt bad that papa (Mike's dad) watched her all day and brought her to soccer so she insisted he needed a break. As I was calling Mike's mom Sadie our puppy could sense something was wrong and she peed on the floor. As always everything hits at once. I hung up the phone tried to pull myself together which was a failed first attempt. Ava watched me frantically run around the house looking for items to pack for the hospital. She went in and out of hysterically crying. I kept running back to her holding her and comforting her with any words I could get out. I stepped back threw my hands to my head and kept yelling to focus and out of pure anger I found the closet thing next to me which ended up being a kitchen cabinet door and I slammed it as hard as I could. Not thinking I would scare Ava... I needed to take control and snap back in to reality. I ran upstairs and sat with Mike trying to do anything possible to make him comfortable. Ava sat with me. I kept talking to him to make sure he was conscious. When his mom got there I called 911 and we waited. A police officer and our local fire and rescue team arrived first. I begged them to take him to Brigham and Women's because that is where his oncologist sees his patients. They said we would have to wait for Trinity to arrive to make that decision. Ava helped me pack our overnight bag. I was grabbing things left and right, change of clothes, medicines, phone chargers, my tablet, toiletries and more. I've become pretty good at getting what we would need for overnight stays. In between shoving things in my bag I was grabbing Ava as tight as I could, comforting her in any way I could. It's not fair... all the suffering we have endured she's just a baby. I will never understand how life can be this cruel...

Ava went downstairs to be the look out for the ambulance it made her feel proud to be the first to tell us. Thank you to the fireman that comforted her while I was with Mike. Thank you for giving her the radio and allowing her to page the responders to see how far out they were. You really gave her the comfort and ability to feel special that she helped her daddy out in her own little way.

Mike's mom Judy and I shielded Ava from the sight of her dad being brought down the stairs. As soon as he was outside on the stretcher Ava ran into her daddy's arms. A sight that forever haunts me and is almost unbearable to watch. She repeated over and over my daddy my daddy cancer go away make him better. The sight put tears in some first responders eyes. Mike was wheeled away... we could hear Ava sobbing in her Mimi's arms...

By 8:40pm we were on our way to Brigham's in Boston. Thank you Trinity for listening to me and allowing us to be brought to the hospital we needed to be at. Mike was strong enough to make the trip into the city.

Around 9:20pm we arrived at Brigham's. In the ambulance I had paged his oncologist to notify him what was going on and that we were bringing him in. We quickly got him in a Emergency Department room which later on I realized we were lucky because the ED was slammed.

Eventually Mike received some IV pain meds and fluids. They took him for a CT scan of his belly and found out that he had a partial bowel blockage. Next the surgery team was in and out explaining possibilities of having surgery to correct the blockage. Memories started to come back to me from when he was first in the hospital waiting for his diagnosis. Lots of teams come in asking all the same questions and poking him in all the same spots. 

His ED nurse was amazing. She explained everything to us and really made us feel at ease. Thank you nurse Christina for making things easy for us. It makes a world of a difference when you get a great nurse. The ED doctor decided to have a tube put down his throat and have it suction out all the fluid in his stomach. By reliving the gas in his belly and the contents in his belly it would help the blockage. Around 12:00am the tube was inserted and then he had an x-ray to verify the placement. Mike was not having the tube in his nose. He was so uncomfortable. After around 2:00am another surgeon came into talk with us and he insisted she takes out the tube or he was taking it out himself. She agreed and pulled it out. We were told that they did not think he needs to have emergency surgery. We would then discuss surgery at a later time if the blockage does not seem to resolve on it's own. Without getting into too much detail he talked about how serious surgery is for a cancer patient. Risks of infections and not being strong enough. Luckily as of now he does not need it. Finally by 4:00am Mike was understandably getting irritated and wanted to be admitted. Around 4:30am after 7 hours in the ED we were admitted into the oncology unit at Brigham's. By now my cold had given me a splitting headache and the lack of sleep and stress was putting me over the edge. We both got about 2 hours of sleep before Mike was woken up at 6:00am for vitals then again around 8:00am. I slept on a bench until a cot was brought and then I crawled into it. 

When I woke up I was sick to my stomach and still exhausted.

Mike's pain has seem to subside and he is now having some movement in his bowels. This is a good sign. The oncology team would like him to have the tube back in his nose to help relieve the nausea but for now he refused. He is now resting. We have to wait for him to be able to eat food and pass it on on his own.

I'm exhausted, angry, scared, upset. I want my husband back I want our lives back. I don't want him to suffer or deteriorate. I hate not having control. This disease really tests every aspect of your life. It hurts your family and friends. I'm truly scared for what's to come...

I will post updates and information if things change.

In loving memory of Matt Keenan and sending love and support to his beautiful and amazing wife. 

Donate to Mike's Fight... all donations go directly to Mike & I.
Click Here

Each Bravelet that is purchased through this site donates $10 to Mike's Fight.
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We've had better days...

Last Wednesday I took Mike to the local hospital at 3:30am. He had horrible pain through the night that became unbearable. I had his oncologist paged and he got back to me right away. He said if he thought we could make it to Boston to bring him in. If not then to bring him to the local hospital. So Holy Family in Haverhill it was. We have been there before and had good experiences. However this time it was a disaster. The doctor that was on looked at me and asked what I thought they should do to treat him. I was so mad. It then took 2 hours for him to receive his first IV medications... even though he was in excruciating pain. The nurse had no idea how to properly access his port. We then found out today that she accessed it wrong and damaged it. The ED doctors then switched shifts and there was even more confusion. Mike had a CT scan hours before and the new crappy doctor came in and said he was being sent for a CT scan. We corrected him and then he came up with a new story about the CT machine not working right and not having the report back yet. In other words he had no idea what he was talking about. We could hear the nurse arguing with the doctor over giving him more pain killers. I finally got so fed up I got on the phone with his oncologist and begged for help. He spoke to the crappy local doctor and after about 8 hours Mike was feeling better and we got the heck out of there. We increased his pain meds and stayed on top of it while we were away to Martha's Vineyard for the weekend.

Mike has been having more pain lately which has defiantly been a concern for us. We were petrified of the scan results...

Today was the day we had been dreading... we had a horrible ride into Boston and we were almost a hour late. The doctor came in and I gave him the cd with the CT scan on it from Wednesdays hospital visit. You would think with all he technology these days it could be sent virtually...but nope! We waited for his return and when he did I could tell on his face it wasn't good news. I instantly felt my heart sink. He told us that the scan showed that his tumor slightly grew... given his recent increased pain and his elevated tumor marker numbers he believes his current treatment is no longer working. It is now time to look into other options. What a punch in the stomach. I felt so sick. His oncologist discussed our two treatment options with us. One is a second line chemotherapy treatment and he second one is a clinical trial at John Hopkins in Baltimore. Both have their pros and cons. We have a lot to think about... Mike did not receive any treatment today. As we left the hospital we drove home with heavy hearts and in silence. My throat hurt from choking back the tears. I had a migraine and felt like I was going to be sick. Even though we were both silent our minds were not... We have until Wednesday to make our decision for now we will weigh out the good and bad...



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