Hoping for better days

Thursday, Mike and I went into Dana Farber for treatment # 25. Where did the time go? 25 chemotherapy treatments... to think back it is insane. September 2nd was a year to date that we went into the hospital for the first time. Since then we have had 5 hospital visits, 2 that were overnight for 3-5 days at a time. He's had countless days of not feeling well. Emotional break downs, chronic stomach pain, struggles to make events with family and friends. Over 25 different types of prescriptions, a 8 year old daughter that hasn't been dealing with things well... a wife that has been pushed beyond her limits that has been stronger than she ever has been. It's been so hard. People can't even imagine how hard it is. I am on the battle front every day with Mike. When he goes down I hold him up. I try everything I can to help make him feel better.

No one understands it... unless you have been there. My friend Pam who lost her husband Matt to this messed up disease back in July, put it perfectly. You don't choose your family, mom, dad, brothers, or sisters... (luckily for me I got lucky with my family) you may choose some friends who come and go through out your life. What makes it hard is that we chose our husbands... I choose Mike through sickness and health, for better or worse. I chose to spend the rest of my life with him... to share his beautiful daughter with and to hopefully start a family of our own someday... This past year has been the hardest thing I have  ever had to face... It's obvious that nothing about this is easy. None of it makes sense, every single bit of it hurts. It hurts so deep in a way that I could never explain...

Back to Thursday morning I feel like I jinxed us because that morning I was rushing around trying to get paperwork filled out and get things in order. I stopped myself in the moment and thought that things seemed "too" normal. When I say normal I use the term lightly because our lives are nothing but normal.  It crossed my mind that maybe things wouldn't go as planned. I reassure myself that it's not like we were getting scan results it was just a normal treatment day. I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head and moved on with our jammed pack scheduled day. 

We got to Dana Farber on time. He got his bloodwork done and his port worked just fine which was good since the last few treatments his port didn't work and had to be flushed, medicated and fixed. 

We met with his oncologist. Mike and him had their typical banter between their football teams Mike (Patriots) his oncologist (Jets). We were all laughing and joking like we weren't sitting in a cancer treatment facility or in a cancer patient room being seen by an oncologist. Things were going well his labs were looking good until his oncologist paused.... my heart sank... his oncologist said his platelets were too low. They were not safe enough for him to have treatment. All the football banter and jokes came to a stand still. I asked why this had happened. His oncologist said that many patients that switch from Folfirinox to Gemabraxine often have this reaction. He said that Folfirinox is a heavy hitter chemo and breaks down the bone marrow where the platelets are produced. He wasn't sure if his platelet numbers were still on their way down or on their way up. Either way he could not have treatment. Mike is at risk for internal bleeding. When the platelet counts are low his blood is not able to clot normally. We have to watch out for any hits, falls, or accidents to make sure he does not have any injuries. Mike's liver enzymes were high as well. They said it could be because of the chemotherapy.

We left Dana Farber not knowing what to think... we were scared.

Mike went to bed Friday night very congested and not feeling well. It sounded like he was coming down with a cold. I called the doctor in the morning and they prescribed him an antibiotic. Hopefully this will help him feel better soon. Tonight he was battling some stomach pain. He went to bed and hopefully he will be feeling better by tomorrow. We plan to spend the day together and we're looking forward to it!

Wednesday night Pam came to visit. We brought her out to dinner at Brown's and then hung out at our house for the night. It is so nice to be able to spend time with her. 

We also has a family cook out this weekend.

Just a reminder Mike, myself and our families are participating in the 2015 New England Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk. I am $85 away from reaching my personal goal of $500. If you would like to donate to my page please click below to donate.

Stephanie's Donation Page


Reminder

We are looking for more teams!

On Saturday, October 3rd we will be hosting the “2^nd Annual Michael Howell Softball Tournament”. The tournament will be held at Haverhill Stadium in Haverhill, Massachusetts. The softball tournament will include 16 teams this year. Last year’s event was very successful, there was a tournament during the day and an after party at night. This year we will only be hosting the softball tournament during the day

If you would like to put in a team please have a team captain email us at mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com with your team name. Entry fee is $250 per a team.

Please see the flyer for more information. 

Mike's Fight T-shirts for Sale... 

Kids Small- Large $15

Adult Small-XL $15

Adult 2XL- 3XL $17

Email me with the size you are interested in. Mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com

Donate to Mike's Fight... all donations go directly to Mike & I. Click Here