His new treatment causes flu like symptoms, chills, body aches, high temps, nausea, vomiting. Unfortunately, Mike had them all. He is having a hard time swallowing his meds now without gagging from being so nauseous. We have been crushing the ones we can and he's been taking them with applesauce. He vomits 1-3 times a day. He's not eating much if at all. His weight has dropped 20 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks. His nausea is pretty much 24/7. He's had constipation from all the nausea and pain meds. He's not able to sleep much at night. He's developed a rash on his legs that at times is unbearable. Thursday night his legs were in so much pain from his rash and the treatment's "flu like symptoms"... he could not get comfortable. He rolled around on the couch then to the floor before I recommended a bath with Epsom salt. He soaked in the bath for a while and I rubbed his legs to help with the muscle pain...
We've been battling one symptom at a time... which usually ends up offsetting another symptom in another direction. It's hard to keep up with it all. Like I've mentioned before he is very depressed from the whole situation. When he stares off into the distance I can see the pain in his eyes. It breaks my heart. I miss my husband and our old lives so much. Every new day seems harder than the last.
I'm thankful he is here and has put up such a hard fight. Even though I can see he's losing sight of the larger picture I am happy he is here with us. I need him, Ava needs him our families need him. So while his mind and body is tired right now that is okay. He deals with so much... I will continue to help him fight every day.
I once read an article about what is harder... having cancer or having a spouse that has cancer. It's a tough question because as a caregiver I think my job is tough.. quitting my job to care for all my husbands needs, bringing him to appointments, picking up prescriptions, making sure he takes his 10-20 pills a day, keeping track of his fluid and food intake, making sure he goes the bathroom, helping him through his real sick moments, keeping his mind positive, keeping family and friends informed on his health, caring for our daughter Ava and puppy Sadie, keeping up with the house work and yard work that never ends, going to work with my husband and telling him to stop for the day when his body has had enough, the sight of seeing him go through this horrible disease, letting my own needs and health suffer, the list goes on forever I could even explain in more detail but when it comes down to it my job as a care giver is hard... but Mike's job as a cancer patient is defiantly harder. He watches his body disappoint and fail on him every day. He has the physical pain from the tumor and side effects from treatment. He thinks about his daughters and wife's future. Worst of all he fights every day for something that most people around us takes advantage of daily... he fights for his LIFE. Although I may feel like I have it worse... I don't. If I could take it all away I would. I could question why him why us why everything every day but I just can't. I focus on the right now. When I start to stress out I take it hour by hour. When that is too much then I focus on minute by minute to get through the day.
We are at treatment now and hopefully treatment this week goes much better... His doctor gave us different medications to help him prevent the nausea, help him use the bathroom and help him sleep. Fingers crossed!
Even though Mike did not feel very well this weekend we still had a good time with our families. Mike's brother came to visit from NY. We had a cookout, game night, homemade breakfast at the house and I may have or may not have gotten "white girl wasted" as Doug called it from two bottles of wine. : ) Overall I it was a lot of fun and we all needed that family time together.
I finally went to a specialist for my ankle that I sprained two months ago. I have to see a physical therapist twice a week for 6 weeks plus take an antibiotic to help with the swelling. Hopefully it heals on its own so I do not need surgery :(
I am thankful for the woman who reached out to me and donated a spa package to me. Thanks again. I am really bad at taking time for myself. I feel guilty and don't always do it on my own! Mike's brother Doug is coming again this weekend and is also treating me to a spa day. I look forward to it.
We are selling Mike's Fight T-shirts... all the money goes towards Mike and I to support our fight with pancreatic cancer.
Shirts are $15 for sizes S-XL and $17 for sizes 2XL-3XL. I will be submitting orders on Sept 1st. If you are interested email me at mike.stephanie.howell@gmail.com with the size you are interested in.
Donate to Mike's Fight... all donations go directly to Mike & I.
Click Here
Each Bravelet that is purchased through this site donates $10 to Mike's Fight.
To purchase a Bravelet Click Here
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