"The first reason was to share with close family and friends what Mike is going through with his disease, what we are going through as a couple, and what I am going through as a spouse and caregiver. I also started this blog to create awareness and educate others about this awful disease."
Pancreatic Cancer is a disease that not many people know much about. I hope I have been able to answer questions people have had and educate others who don't know about the disease.
I also hope that I can one day pay it forward and help others who are going through this disease. Mike and I have been so blessed with all the support and love we have received from family, friends, neighbors and complete strangers. It truly is amazing.
I have been very open with my family's story. I have shared very personal moments and information. I know not everyone can or would be willing to do what I have done. It takes courage and strength. I have used this blog as an outlet for me. I express myself best when I am able to write. I know that I have opened up my family's story to the world. People have commented or sent me messages of positive stories, prayers, kinds words, etc. Due to the nature of this blog never did I expect to receive negative comments on what I have been posting about. Like I said it has been a year since I started this and I only just have received my first negative comment. With all the negativity in the world I'd say I've done pretty well. The online community allows people to be cowards and hide behind their nasty comments. It's everywhere people writing nasty, cruel, and mean remarks towards others. Why? What's the point? I just don't get it. It goes back to the golden rule that our mothers and fathers taught us... if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.
After I posted my YouTube video last week I received a comment in the comments section. It was by a person who goes by the name "J Fren". They tried to kindly bash myself and my families battle and with cancer. They accused us of "living well" and using donations to us to buy "extravagant items". At first I was hurt and pissed off. I didn't know why someone would attack me and my family especially when we are going through such a difficult time. They continued to ask me to defend myself and explain where the money goes and how we were able to go on vacations. I decided not to feed into this ignorant person. Quite frankly I don't give a fuck what negative people think about me or my family. I know I am a good person. I know I have hard to make VERY difficult decisions that no 26 year old should have to make. Unless you have been in my shoes you DON'T know what it's like. Having a husband diagnosed with a terminal illness is not the same as a parent, grandparent, child, friend, etc. that you helped "care" for. A spouse is someone who you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Someone you chose to build a family with. Until you have directly cared for a terminally ill spouse then I don't care to give you the time of day and entertain your negative comments. Yes, we have been very fortunate to receive such kind donations... because we are good people that have been dealt a shitty hand in the game of life. Money doesn't change my husbands diagnosis. It doesn't buy our old life back... But it does give us the ability to pay for BOTH our medical bills, home bills, therapy, groceries, gas to and from treatments, medications, funeral arrangements, vacations to make memories with our daughter and family. People don't think about all the extra expenses that come along with being diagnosed with cancer besides just the medical bills. People often tell us take our donation and go enjoy yourselves for the day. Make a memory... treasure the time you have with one another. Go out to dinner, go on a date, bring your daughter on a trip. We have had vacations, spa packages, gift cards and more donated to us. Do you know the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion that a patient and caregiver endures? Are we suppose to sit at home, not be able to work, and be depressed for the rest of our lives? NO it was very hard especially for Mike to except donations from others. We didn't want to feel like a charity case. After a year long of financial struggles along with the pain, tears, and burden we are willing to say we accept help. I made a youcaring donation page for us because people were begging to help and donate to us. If you don't like it that's fine you don't need to and we don't want you to. But to go as low as accusing a family that you know NOTHING about of taking advantage of a system is WRONG. People donate these things to us because they genuinely care about us and want to help. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always there for others. I would give the shirt off my back if someone needed it... Right now I am that friend that needs the shirt off someone else's back...
To sum it all up "J Fren" I don't care what you think. I didn't force you to read my blog... I didn't force you to watch my youtube video... and I a sure as hell didn't force you to make a "fake" gmail account for a day just so you were able to comment on my youtube video. Technology is nice these days you can find out a lot about someone with little information. "J Fren" you know NOTHING about me or my family and Karma is a bitch.
I apologize to those who do read my blog and do care about my family. I wanted to set the record straight and get this one off my chest. I refuse to let people accuse me and walk all over me. I have been through more this last year than most people do their entire lives. I may have never believed it 12 months ago but I am strong... I continue to get stronger every day... I will fight for my family if you get in the way. At the end of the day I know who I am deep down inside and that is all that matters. We are Howell Strong with an army behind us!
After I posted my YouTube video last week I received a comment in the comments section. It was by a person who goes by the name "J Fren". They tried to kindly bash myself and my families battle and with cancer. They accused us of "living well" and using donations to us to buy "extravagant items". At first I was hurt and pissed off. I didn't know why someone would attack me and my family especially when we are going through such a difficult time. They continued to ask me to defend myself and explain where the money goes and how we were able to go on vacations. I decided not to feed into this ignorant person. Quite frankly I don't give a fuck what negative people think about me or my family. I know I am a good person. I know I have hard to make VERY difficult decisions that no 26 year old should have to make. Unless you have been in my shoes you DON'T know what it's like. Having a husband diagnosed with a terminal illness is not the same as a parent, grandparent, child, friend, etc. that you helped "care" for. A spouse is someone who you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Someone you chose to build a family with. Until you have directly cared for a terminally ill spouse then I don't care to give you the time of day and entertain your negative comments. Yes, we have been very fortunate to receive such kind donations... because we are good people that have been dealt a shitty hand in the game of life. Money doesn't change my husbands diagnosis. It doesn't buy our old life back... But it does give us the ability to pay for BOTH our medical bills, home bills, therapy, groceries, gas to and from treatments, medications, funeral arrangements, vacations to make memories with our daughter and family. People don't think about all the extra expenses that come along with being diagnosed with cancer besides just the medical bills. People often tell us take our donation and go enjoy yourselves for the day. Make a memory... treasure the time you have with one another. Go out to dinner, go on a date, bring your daughter on a trip. We have had vacations, spa packages, gift cards and more donated to us. Do you know the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion that a patient and caregiver endures? Are we suppose to sit at home, not be able to work, and be depressed for the rest of our lives? NO it was very hard especially for Mike to except donations from others. We didn't want to feel like a charity case. After a year long of financial struggles along with the pain, tears, and burden we are willing to say we accept help. I made a youcaring donation page for us because people were begging to help and donate to us. If you don't like it that's fine you don't need to and we don't want you to. But to go as low as accusing a family that you know NOTHING about of taking advantage of a system is WRONG. People donate these things to us because they genuinely care about us and want to help. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always there for others. I would give the shirt off my back if someone needed it... Right now I am that friend that needs the shirt off someone else's back...
To sum it all up "J Fren" I don't care what you think. I didn't force you to read my blog... I didn't force you to watch my youtube video... and I a sure as hell didn't force you to make a "fake" gmail account for a day just so you were able to comment on my youtube video. Technology is nice these days you can find out a lot about someone with little information. "J Fren" you know NOTHING about me or my family and Karma is a bitch.
I apologize to those who do read my blog and do care about my family. I wanted to set the record straight and get this one off my chest. I refuse to let people accuse me and walk all over me. I have been through more this last year than most people do their entire lives. I may have never believed it 12 months ago but I am strong... I continue to get stronger every day... I will fight for my family if you get in the way. At the end of the day I know who I am deep down inside and that is all that matters. We are Howell Strong with an army behind us!
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